My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
