Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
