I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize