I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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