her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
