I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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