He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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