Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
