The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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