I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
