I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
