she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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