My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
