yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
