R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
