I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize