I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
