My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my being single is dangerous.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
