i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
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She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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