i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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