I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
