At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
