butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
