Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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