somebody snuck up and got me drunk
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
