The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
