i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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