too bad you live with your parents still
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize