wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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