my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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