You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
