I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
