she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
