So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
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Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
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My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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