Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
