Christians are straight up FREAKS
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
