why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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