Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
