He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
