Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
that is very illegal...i love you.
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