I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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