YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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