big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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