I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize