chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
