whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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