she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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