people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
