it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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