Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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