did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
