So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
