Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
