I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
