i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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