Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.