So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
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