needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
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She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.