quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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