You're so nebulous sometimes
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
