He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
